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Writing.

I have stoppped writing for some reason. Its almost as if I have forgotten how. I used to love writing. Its all I ever did besides read and eat and start shit on the internets because I didn't have anything better to with my life.I came up with some interesting stories in my time. And by that I mean high school thanks to Mrs. Bacon who was one of the best teachers I ever had. She made me want to try and do better in school. All the teachers did but she brought teaching to a whole new level. Nobody taught like she did. She truely loved her job and everything that had to do with it. I never really thought I could write like that until her class. It was her who opened my eyes to all the possibilities to talking through text. It was a new concept for me and I wrote. I didnt talk any more. I just wrote all the time. I wrote poems of dying mothers in concentration camps and girls killing themselve over a boy. because I was an emo little girl back then. I was full of hormones and emotions and because of that I came up with a lot of really good pieces of work. I wrote a love story about two kids who grew up to have eachother for ever after all the heart ache of adolesents. The story of my one true love. All of my stories were personal and had a part of me in them. I don't have all the sorrow and empty feelings to inspire me any more. I could get into the mood, however getting back out is a very hard thing to do at times and I am worried I wont be able to come back. Writing is a lot harder than people make it out to be. It takes a lot of time. Time that I don't really have now. But I have been thinking that I want to be a writer. That is what I want to go to school for. I also want to go to school for cooking and for animals. I want to do a lot of things. I dont have the money or the resources to do it though. At least not right now...
its been an interesting year. In the past year, alot has happened. I got a job at starbucks, I moved in with my boyfriend, became an aunt, I got my learners permit, ive made new friends and lost a very dear person. I was hired on at starbucks on april 17th. Ive been with the company for a little over 6 months. In my time here I have learned a lot about coffee. Like for instance coffee is only good for a week after you open it. And it goes bad after a half hour after you brewed. A shot of esspresso is only good for ten seconds unless milk or a syrup is added before then. Or water if you are making an americano. Tea is good for a month though and it has more caffein in it. I have also learned a lot about people. You learn how to read body language from your customers and your co workers. You learn which people are in a hurry and which prople are coming to hang out. You learn whos two faced as well.
I sit in my lobby, 3 hours before I have to start work. I look around the store and take little mental notes. The condement bar is dirty and has been since I got here a half hour ago. They haven't had much business since I have been here so there is no need for the ten minute spins not to be done. The caraffes are still on the bar. The floor is dirty, It should be spot mopped and swept. The front door is dirty with the hand and finger prints from all the customers who dont like using the door handle. The windows are pretty dirty as well and I don't even know what the bathroom looks like. These are all things I am going to have to do when I clock on. And thats just based on the lobby. There is an even bigger list of things that I have to do before I get off at eight tonight.  I am on;y working 4 hours today, But I am going to get everything on my mental list done. I will talk to every customer who comes in the store. I will greet them when they open the door. I will help them buy coffee and sell the Thanksgiving blend. I will make drinks and laugh with the customers and their funny stories. Its durning that part of my day that reminds me why I am with this company. Its because of all the awesome people you meet while making their favorite drinks. Seeing the satisfaction in their eyes when they take that first sip and smile, its priceless.
 

Sep. 6th, 2011

I am officially an Aunt. It is a good feeling. Its kind of over whelming in a way. To see the tiny little face and see how precious he is. So pure and innocent still. He has a very loving mom and she is going to raise him right. I can't wait to meet him. I am going to be in Washington next week from Wednesday until Sunday to see Evan. Thats his name, Evan Christopher Ayers. 7 pounds 9 ounces 20 inches long lol He is a good sized healthy baby boy and I get to have the honor of being related to him. An Aunt is a special responsibility to have. The Aunt is like the second mom in a way. The cool one haha The Aunt gets to hang out with the kid and tell it all this wise stuff and buy him ice cream and books and go on walks and play at parks and everything. Like a mom only not as strict. My baby nephew needs to be spoiled some how! When he gets older I will send him cool stuff that he can play with and stuff that is cool about where we all came from. Things on England and Irland and just things about his heritage. Going to send him lots of pictures of Grandpa and Me and All the family that he wont be able to see because he will be living in South Carolina. And where ever else his Dad is going to be stationed. I am going to be in that kids life no matter what. I have been waiting for this for so long! I can't wait to meet him. I am going to cry my eyes out. Its hard not to now just writing about him. Its a very proud moment for me. Nobody can take this feeling away from me. This is awesome I feel like I just jumped off the top of the world and I am free falling. I have never felt this much love for a new being before. The funny thing is that Evan isnt even mine and I love him already as if he was.....

Aug. 16th, 2011

I only work 3 days next week. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That sucks! I am only getting 19.25 hours next week. And I only have 17 this week which means This paycheck is going to suck. I am starting to see why Jimmy didn't like starbucks. I talked to the person in charge of making our schedules and he said that its because of school starting and sales aren't up right now so he had to cut every ones hours. But I am the only one with 4 days off and I am also the only one with 19 hours. Everyone else has at least 27. and all the shifts still have their 38 hours a week. I have fucking 19! Its a good thing Jimmy has a real Job. Starbucks is disappointing me hugely right now. I should just talk to Howard Schultz himself! I need money in order to sustain my living habits. I need to pay rent, and buy food for the house. I need to help Jimmy with gas. I can't just make 300 a month because that is my entire half of rent. I don't want to have to depend on Jimmy  to have to buy my things that I need. I am a girl. I need personal things during a certain time of the month and stuff like that. I can't support my self on the hours I am getting. Next wednesday I am going to DMV to get my fucking permit though that way I will actually be able to drive. I Have to I'm tired of being stuck. I can't depend on ly boyfriend for everything. I am an adult and its about damn time I act like one. I am so tired of asking Jimmy to take me places and depending on him to be places on time. I am tired of him saying no to me just because he doesn't want to drive somewhere. Its annoying and I need to be able to go places on my own. I am tired of how my life is and I am pissed off at the way I have set my self up. I am a failure as a human. I haven't done anything in my life right. I fucked up in school, I never branched outside my safe little circle so I don't know how to socialize or make friends on my own, I was too scared to drive so I never learned. Sure I work at an actual company, but its not going so well if I can't even get hours and I get the feeling at least half my co workers don't like me. That last part might just be in my head.... I just get the feeling that people don't like me. They are just nice to me because I am Jimmys girl or because they have to because I work with them. Maybe thats my problem. It's in my head that people don't like me so I push them away and then they actually begin not to like me because I am stand offish and I have all my walls up and reinforced all the time. Maybe I just need to let go and not worry about trying to fit in... I don't know but I do know I am tired of being told no. I am a fucking adult.  I don't need to be told what to do and I sure as hell don't need permission to do shit that I want. I would like to say that I am a good girlfriend. I moved two states away just to maybe be with Jimmy. I quit smoking when I didn't want to because he didn't like it. I always ask him if its okay to do things. I never do anything he doesn't want me to. I cut my hair with out telling him... That kinda went okay... And I bought a new belly ring with out telling him when I was with kayley.. But he doesn't like it when I spend money on my self. Like when I buy new clothes or make up. or a pair of shoes or just something that I saw that I liked. He hates it when I do that kind of stuff. So I never do anything like that. I never go to the mall and just buy something for myself. I don't treat my self at all.. I don't do anything with out consulting him first. Some people would say thats how its supposed to be. He doesn't do any of that stuff either. He always asks me if its okay do do things before he does them. For the most part any way. Some people say that you should always consult your partner. Other people say that means your whipped. I don't know maybe its just different because we act married already...

Aug. 2nd, 2011

I fucking hate this god damned laptop!!! I had an entire entry written and the stupid fucking thing decided to delete it all at once. Latonya Fucked up my drink. I only have 17 hours next week which sucks ass but its what ever I talked to Marcus and Aaron about it the second I found out and hopefully it will be changed. Ihave to work with Val today. She is okay but I feel like she doesn't like me. Maybe I should talk to her about it. Idk... Jimmy got another job. I way better job than starbucks. I am very proud of him. He is taking after his sister. She is one of the most successful people I know. She is a great role model for anyone. Maybe I should try to be more like her... If only I didn't fuck up... If I would have just tried harder in school the first time Maybe I would have passed despite all the moves and different schools I went to. Maybe if I wasnt so reclusive my whole life I would actually have my own friends and I would actually have my own car and my license. Maybe if I was better at talking to people I could show my dad that Sherri is using him for his money. Maybe if I was different the world would be different. What if dad had never gotten fucked over I wouldnt have moved back to cali and I would have been able to actually graduate and I would probably be working at dads restaurant and not at starbucks and I wouldn't be with Jimmy and I probably wouldn't even talk to my mom because I never would have gotten to know her and I probably wouldn't talk to sarah either because she lived with mom. My whole life would be different if Rhonda hadn't fucked up.... THANK YOU FOR FUCKING UP RHONDA!!!! I love my life the way it is now and I wouldnt change it for anything. And If I want to change it I will. And I am changing it. I am going to school to get my GED and I am going to get my license.  I am going to make an effort to make friends in my work place and just make friends in general. I am going to venture out and make friends who are dare I say.... Girls. I am going to have girl days and go shopping and do girl shit! I am going to get my own fucking car and I am going to be a fucking adult whether it kills me or not!!!!! I feel like I am going crazy and it isnt fun so I am going to attempt to change again and hopefully I actually do this time. I am so tired of running away and making excuses for myself. I am going to have money and I am going to be caught up. I refuse to have to live pay check to paycheck from now on. Fuck my life the way it is. I am changing and I am going to stay changed! No more mrs. nice girl who stays quiet in the background! I am now front row! People arren't going to like it at first but From now on I am the best at what I do no matter what I am I am going to rule the fucking world! And also I am going to be nicer to Jimmy because I havent been lately because it is hard to be nice and happy all the time when you know you are a fuck up and you know you need to change because if you dont you arent going anywhere in life and you are dragging your better half - and when I say that I actually mean it- down with you. I was pissed and upset with myself and taking it out on him because yelling at him was easier for me than letting him see me cry. So I am Now changing.  I am starting work early today and I am going to kick ass and stay on top of shit the whole 8 hours. I am not going to get lazy half way throuigh no matter what and this is going to be the best fucking close this store has ever had! We arent number one in the disctrict for nothing!!! Today is going to be an awesome day no matter what!!!

Whats the point of me keeping a livejournal anymore? Why do I need one? Nobody even reads it any more and I barely write on here anymore.. I wouldn't even have known about livejournal if it wasn't for chelsea and everything that happened. I saw the link on her Myspace page and clicked it because I didnt know what it was. Turns out it was the root to all of the drama that became us. This was the big problem. it was a was to talk shit and not actually talk shit. We both did it because we were both fighting a pointless battle that shouldn't have happened. I still cant believe I let myself get that far into it. Now Rob is dead and its all over. Its almost like a bad horror movie that didn't go anywhere. Only Rob wasn't a villan. Rob was a troubled teenager with a drug problem, suicidle girlfriend and an 18 year old fuck up on the side. None of it even matters. It never mattered. Everything that happened. How she got her friends into it and my sister and some friends got into it as well, restraining orders were threatened and lives were threatened all because of a boy who was able to control the thoughts and emotions of these two girls. Only one person brought me back from that person. It was because of jimmy that I saw light and I was able to get over it. Or at least muffle it. Stuff it in a bottle and lock it up in the back of my mind. But when things didnt work out, That bottle shattered and my world fell to peices around me. Rob was back in because I was crying uncontrollably and he "wanted to help". All that did was reel me back in and restart shit. Only for the most part Chelsea didnt know. Rob and I became best friends. We walked to school every morning together. We smoked weed together every morning and we would talk about everything together while we were supposed to be in first period. We had a lot of inside jokes. Then he wanted nothing to do with me again when he went to rehab. I didnt talk to him for months after that. I remember one time, Chelsea called me asking if I knew where Rob was. His dad called me, his brother called me. Nobody knew where he was. I went out on foot in the pouring rain and looked everywhere for him and couldnt find him. He came home and said he was at the park or some shit like that. I couldn't find him though. I looked everywhere I knew he would be. Thats when I realised that when he didnt want to be found, he wouldnt be. I remember when Chelsea texted me to tell Rob to call her because she had gotten into an accident and that she was okay but that she wanted to talk to him. I was sitting right next to him and she had no idea that we even hung out still. Just that we went to the same school and that we had a class together. She didn't know that when she would pick him from the park to hang out with him that I was with him up until she got there. Then he  would come out of the woods like he was just walking around on his own. When he wasn't with her he was with me for the most part. and we werent even doing anything. Just hanging out and talking. I told him all about Jimmy and he talked about chelsea. How beautiful she was and how she was a model. How  smart she was and how he wanted to marry her. He told me how he was going to propose to her and when. Of course towards the end we stopped talking. especially when I moved back to California in July. The last time I saw him was on his birthday. It was the last time I slept next to him. The last time he tried kissing me and the last time I told him no because I made a promise to myself and to chelsea and that he would regret it more than I would because he was drunk and I wasnt.  I don't know why I am writing all of this now... Its just what I am thinking about right now. I don't know why. I guess its because of the rememberance page they have for him on Facebook. There are all these pictures and videos and stories of him on there. I dont have any pictures or anything of us together. All I have is memories and it makes me sad.. I just hope he is in a better place now. I worry that he has gone to hell. But at the same time, He did say that he believed in a higher being. He found God before he passed... But I don't know if that was for show or if that was real. I hope to see him again someday, however I don't know if I would Hit him or hug him. Right now I want to hit him. For leaving all of us here to be hurt and heart broken. I still cant believe he is gone. That he is never going to make me lose the game again. Never going to bug me for cigarettes or break into my house and leave notes in my room. He is never going to do anything again because he isnt alive any more! It fucking blows because he was smarter than that...









Jimmy says I am being distant..... Maybe I am. I know I have been more short tempered lately. I know that with work and school I have been stressed out lately. I havent really been in the mood for anything lately. I just want to be left alone for a while but I get so freaked out every time I am alone that I just can't do it. I am starting to see that being alone isnt a bad thing. I am just too attached to Jimmy and I cant just be with out him. I think maybe that is why I am being distant. I am pushing him away trying to break how strong the attachment is. That I really will be okay when he is gone. that way I can be home alone at night when I need to be up early and I can actually sleep with out him. I wont freak out and throw a temper tantrum every time he wants to do something with out me. It should be okay that he wants to go and watch Christine sing at a bar. It should be okay for him to have friends who I am not friends with as well.. It would help if I had friends of my own.. I can't even manage that. I dont even have any friends... Steven only likes me because I am Jimmys girlfriend. He wouldnt give me the time of day if it wasn't for Jimmy. I am a horrible person to steven most of the time and I dont even mean to. He just needs to learn to listen. I hate having to repeat everything around him because he wasn't listening the first time. Like when we are making plans and we tell him one thing and he hears another. He doesn't know how to listen. And Jimmy is constantly not listening these days. I have to fight for attention because when He is with his friends the girlfriend is out of the picture. They go into these crazy conversations and just go on and on and on about one thing and that one thing leads to like 20 other things and I just sit there and listen. Its kinda funny. Until I go in to comment on something or try to include myself in the conversation because I am with them. And they just talk over me and I cant even get a letter in. It makes me feel left out. Also, we are pretty much broke until friday. We still owe Linda 200 for rent. and He is eating at los cerros and buying food while he is at work when he can just go home and eat. He acts like it takes a half hour to drive up the hill and eat something at home. Or like he cant take his own lunch to work. We really cant afford to be spending any extra money. I almost cried last night when he had more shit that he had bought. He really doesnt understand that I only have 69 dollars to last us an entire week. I dont even know how much he has now.  Its stressful and frustrating. I worrying if we are going to make it.. I never used to have to worry if I was going to have a place to live still because money is short. Being an adult is hard. I work hard for my money. I really give a shit and care about my job and in return I get about 400 a check.  Jimmy and I make at least 800 a month together. Out of that 600 goes to rent. Then you have count in the amount of gas we need. about 35 fills the tank. which means we have about 165 out of that. now, a full tank usually lasts us about a day and a half. so at least twice a week, we put gas in the car. something like that. which means that we now have about 130 left. Every two weeks we buy about a half ounce of weed. that right there is 100. which means after that we are pretty much out of money. And its not like we can cut down on any thing. the weed is for medical purposes which we both need. The gas we need in order for us to both get to work and for me to get to school. And rent is a duh factor. There is just so much to worry about these days... Life is hard and I only have to worry about myself and Jimmy right now. I don't even want to know how hard its going to be when we have kids... When we get married... Everything costs money and everything keeps getting more and more expensive... Sometimes I feel like giving up. I find myself regretting so much. I regret just about everything in high school. I should have just gone when I needed to and gotten it over with. But now I have to worry about getting my GED which believe it or not, is NOT the easy way out. In order to graduate high school you need to pass the California exit exam. That exam is a tenth grade level exam. Everything on the GED is at a 12th grade level. You do it in less time than it would take to get your diploma but it is harder to do. I get to graduate in cap and gown though. I get a real graduation. I hope my dad will go and see me graduate when the time comes... He doesn't even visit me at work, which is on the way to work. Some times I wonder why I moved back at all. Why I hated Washington so much. Now that Rob is dead and Nick doesn't really exist any more, Neither does Cooper or anyone else. I mean I moved to California to get away from my mom and from all the drama that washington had. I wanted to be closer to the family I grew up with. I wanted to be closer to my Aunt incase anything happened since she got cancer... I never even see my family. I dont talk to my grandparents or my aunts or uncles. I barely even talk to my dad anymore.... its sad to think that the reasons why I moved back aren't even the reasons why I am here now. I don't know... I have just had alot on my mind lately and I just needed to get it all out.. I guess thats why I have a livejournal still. So I can just write and write and write. I know Jimmy is going to ask questions about a lot of the things I wrote about. especially the giant section all about Rob... I am over Rob. I have to be he is dead... But I was over him before he died... I just have a lot to tell Rob still that I didnt get to before.. The sad part is that none of it would matter if I did tell him...
I don't want to go to work today... I don't want to do anything. I just want to curl up in bed with my baby boo and do nothing all day. I want a lazy day. I want a day that only consists of him and I. I didn't even have that on our one year because he insisted on going and smoking with Christine. We never have a full day to our selves. When ever I bring it up he says we are together all the time. Which we are, I mean I'm not going to say we aren't. Unless I am at work we are together. But being together and having relationship time and alone time is different. We are always with someone at some point in the day. Mostly its Steven, But its also Christine, Dan.... Always someone.... Its never just us. Us time isn't that important I guess... I mean its not like we really need it. We are fine and happy and just fucking dandy!!! But us time would be nice to have at least once a week.... We only have one day off together anyway. lol Why can't that be our day??

I don't even really feel like writing right now. I just want to be lazy right now. I am also choosing to be self centered and shallow right now because I never am. I have to vent some how right? Nothing is ever about me. Well some times it is I guess... I just deel like I have built up frustration and I don't know why. However, I don't open at alll Next week because I am taking classes to get my Ged and I have orientation all next week. Then I get my actual scedule and I wont be opening ever!!! hahaha well not ever.. But  not during the week I wont! and weekends I wake up at 4 instead of 3:30 if I open so either was its a win. I love it :) I like Aaron. He is my new store manager. He is hella funny and pretty cool. He knows how to joke around and also jow to be serious and a boss when he needs to be. I really hope we keeep him.

I got my belly button pierced the other day.. I got it done on the 6th when I was in martinez swimming with Dan and Jimmy. I went to this place called Legends. It was hella cool. It is a smoke shop but they do piercings and I think tattoos as well. I didn't have to pay the tax on the belly ring or the cleaner because Dan knew the chick who whorks there. She was pretty cool too.  That day was just awesome. I had fun swimming and hanging out with my two favorite guys!! >.< 

I bought new clothes today for work.. All my work clothes were hella dirty so I bought a new outfit instead. Target rules for having awesome clothes! Not the cheapest but they deffinately fit awesome and they last unlike walmarts cheap ass! I bought jeans there not too long ago and like two weeks after I bought them the leg ripped from seem to seem. All of their clothes are poorly made. However I still go there for bathing suits!! I just bought a hella cute on the other day when I was in Martinez/ Concord. 

Yea I hella don't want to write anymore.... I think I am going to ask if i can start early... or I am going to FB just a bit more...  Its amazing how much the internet has changed!!!

Just the first part... some shit came up...

Zoey Danashkinix was getting ready for her date. Her make-up was perfect, her hair was done half up. Waves of curls swimming down her back. She was in a little black satin dress that fit her like a glove. Low V neck line enhancing her cleavage, hugging her hips, and ending About an inch above her knee with a slit in the back. A long diamond chain hung from her neck. The bracelet her grandmother gave her on her arm. She  put on her strappy black heels and squirt herself with her vanilla scented perfume. She was ready for her perfect night, when out of nowhere her phone rang. She answered thinking it was Jared, Her long time boyfriend, but it wasn't. It is someone else. She recognizes the voice intermediately.
Dunkin what do you want? I am about to go on a date." She said.
"I need your help Zoey. I really need someone to talk to and you are the only person I can think of who actually gives a shit." Dunkin said in a serious, sad voice. He sounded as if he were about to cry.
" What is it? Are you okay?"
"Can I come over Zoey? I want to talk in person... It wont take long."
"Can this wait? I really am about to go out on a date. I really like this one Dunkin... I think he could be the one." Said Zoey. Not that she didn't care about Dunkin. She felt bad about not wanting him to come over. But what would her date say if he saw another man at her house when he arrived? He could get the wrong picture and think she was cheating on him.
"No Zoey. It is really important and I need you... More than ever right now."
"Fine but make it fast okay? If Jared sees you here he is going to get the wrong idea."
Dunkin was feeling a little hurt by what she had said. He thought she was replacing him with Jared. He had been her best friend for years and never liked any of the guys she dated. It was almost as if he was jealous because they had her and he was stuck in the friend zone.
"So what if he gets the wrong idea zoey? If he can't trust you to have male friends then he isn't worth your time."
"You don't understand him. Jared is the kind of guy who is... Very protective of the girls he is with. It would be in your best interest if you weren't here when he showed up. Trust me Dunkin."
"Okay what ever I will be there in two minutes."

Before I go on with the story, Let me tell you about Dunkin. You see, when Dunkin was about four, He was in a car accident. A drunk driver smashed into the side of his car one late summer night. Dunkin was asleep in the back seat of the car and wasn't wearing a seatbelt. His mom had been driving for so long and was focusing so hard on not falling asleep that she didnt notice he had taken it off. The drunk driver smashed into the drivers side of the car, killing Dunkins mother instantly and throwing him out of the car. Dunkin was in ICU for six months after that. He was in a coma and had broken almost every bone in his body. The doctors say he shouldn't have lived but he did. He had some brain damage but wasnt too bad off. He moved around from home to home. It was really hard for him. He wasn't as fast as the other kids. It took him a long time to understand that he couldn't always get what he wanted. When Zoey and him were about nineteen, they met. She saw something special in him. That was four years ago. Zoey had her own life now but every once in a while he would reappear.

Sure enough, two minutes later there was a knock on the door.She answered it to find Dunkin standing there on the verge of tears. Forgetting her frustration, she hurried him inside, instantly kicking into mom mode. She wanted to figure out what was wrong. She wanted to be there for him and help him through whatever it was that he was going through. Zoey had always tried her best to help Dunkin with his problems when she could.  However, this time was different. Zoey had never seen him this up set before.
 
"Oh my gosh Dunkin what's wrong are you alright?" Zoey said with worry in her voice and eyes.
She had no idea that he wasn't really there to talk. That he had come up with a lie to lure her in. That all of this was just a charade to get her to go with him. If talking didnt work he had other ways of getting her in his car.
"Its so terrible," Dunkin said with fake tears in his eyes and sorrow in his voice. He had a very good facade. "My foster parents have been in a horrible accident and its my fault. I talked them into having a night out and because of that they were hit by a drunk driver on the bridge." His breathing was uneven and he was crying and shaking uncontrollably.
"Oh hunny!! that isn't your fault. It was an accident. The drunk driver is at fault for drinking." She said with conviction in her voice. Mr. and Mrs. Mengarro were very loving people.  They were understanding and patient with everyone and they were always helping everyone. It was hard for her to think that they were gone. 
"I really don't want to be alone. I don't have anywhere to go. I can't go home. I can't be in that house. There are too many memories for me right now. It's too hard. Please Zoey... Please stay with me. I wouldnt ask you but you are the only person I have left in the world." Dunkin had Zoey right where he wanted her. He was there he could feel it.  Any minute now she would give in.
"Dunkin I don't know... I am sorry about what happened but I have my own life now. There isn't anyone else?" Zoey said with sorrow in her voice. She felt bad but Dunkin wasn't really a part of her life anymore.
Zoey please I need you more than ever right now and if Jake has a problem than he can just suck it because I have known you longer than him and besides that he shouldn't matter any way. I should be the important one in your life not him!" he said. Dunkin was getting very angry now and he was seconds away from taking her by force. Zoey wasn't listening to the lies he was feeding her. She was starting to lose interest and he could feel it. He was going to have to do things the hard way.
"His name is Jared not Jake. And besides that, he has been my boyfriend for three years now! I haven't seen or heard from you in almost four years and then you just show up one night? And what do you mean you should be the important one in my life? You don't even know me anymore! It is starting to sound like you, you... I hate to say it Dunkin, but it sounds like you made up the fact that your parents died! I can't do this right now Dunkin, please leave now. Don't come back here again." Zoey was getting upset. Jared was going to be there any second and she was standing there arguing with her past. She was feeling uncomfortable by Dunkin. Something about him was off this time... She was afraid of what he might do. Zoey knew she needed to keep him calm and get him out. What she didn't know however, was that Dunkin wasn't going to leave with out her and that things were about to get ugly.
"Thats enough out of you already! You are coming with me whether you like it or not!" Dunkin yelled grabbing her arm.
"Ow Dunkin let go! What the fu-
Zoey never got to finish her sentence. Dunkin hit her over the head with the champagne bottle that was on the table and knocked her out cold. From here he would carry her to his car and take her to an old cabin that he had in the woods up north.  The drive would take all night and half of the next day to complete. He just needed to keep her quiet until then.





Jason pulled up to the house and turned off the car. He just sat there for a moment, going over the events of the night one last time.  This was the night he was going to ask for her hand in marriage. He spoke to her father earlier in the week. He had given him her mothers wedding ring that had been passed down through the generations. It was a beautiful Princess cut diamond set in a white gold band with two smaller diamonds on the sides. He went over what he was going to say one last time.
Zoey, I love you so much. You mean the world to me. Before I met you I was nothing. You have helped me find out who I am and because of that I am eternally greatful. I wouldn't change anything about you. You are perfect... Zoey I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else but you. I couldn't imagine anyone else being the mother  of my children.. I couldn't imagine anything without you. You are my other half. Will you marry me Zoey Danashkinix?
He had it all planned out. He was going to take her to Alimentari d'Italia, The most expensive Italian restaurant in all of LA. He got out of the car and started walking up to the door. He noticed that the door was opened and quickened his pace. Zoey wan't one to just leave her front unlocked let alone open.  He called her name as he got to the door. she didn't answer. He stepped inside and noticed that there was a broken champagne bottle on the floor. The lamp on the table next to the couch was knocked over and the table was moved as if someone hit it when they fell. He started to get a nervous feeling in his gut and yelled her name. No answer. Zoey was gone and something horrible had happened. There was just something about the room that made jared believe something bad happened. He left the house and called the police.
I am so tired... I have been up since 3:30am because I had to open. I hate opening. I would much rather close. I am going to talk to my manager when he comes to the store. The new one I mean. Not Steve because Steve I have already talked to and that didnt help anything. He pretty much told me that I can try to switch with people but who the hell wants to come in at 4 in the morning instead of sleeping in? Its so stupid! I can't do it though. My body physically can't do it. And he kind of made it clear that I was hired for my availability. But I am not used to it and I can't just wake up at 3:30 in the morning every morning and then move a million miles an hour just to keep up with rude customers who are in a hurry. Don't get me wrong I love my job but it is so hard trying to function like that. Today it took me almost an hour to get the RTD and pastry case done. and when I was date dotting the plates I put Wednesday stickers on all the two day plates! And I also did it on the breakfast sandwiches. Not to mention my expeditor is slow and doesnt like it when I have to enter my numbers... or any numbers for that matter. The only reason why I say "My" is because it is the only one I use. Its the only one they let me use lol its dumb I hate it. My co worker has trouble with them too. Oh and we changed our store hours! We are open until 8:30 pm instead of e8:00 night pm. A whole other hour for us to fun out of shit. YAY!!!!

Its almost been a year since Jimmy and I  got together!
 
It is so  hot today!!! I am hella tired. I have been up since 3:30 this morning because I had to open. I am off tomorrow though! :) So in a bit I may take a nap. That way I can actually stay up tonight instead of crashing. But really, its like 82 degrees out today! I sure am glad I am inside a nice cool place with  a White Mocha frapp with Cinnamon Dulce in it :) It is so good! and perfect for the weather. I went to the beach with Jimmy and some friends the other day. I am so sun burnt!!! It hurt hella bad the first couple days but now not so much. It was fun though. Oh and Jimmy and I saw Amber that day!!! It made our day by ruining hers. It was hella funny to watch her act. we didn't even have to do anything either. She just saw us and that in its self pissed her off hahaha when the computer is done charging I think I am going to sit out side. It is nice in the shade and this place is hella cold!